If your name is nancy and you get pregnant you will be pregnancy
"suck my dick"
"nah sorry i have a shrimp allergy"
don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes
how to subtly approach your crush
My family is from Nigeria, and my full name is Uzoamaka, which means “The road is good.” Quick lesson: My tribe is Igbo, and you name your kid something that tells your history and hopefully predicts your future. So anyway, in grade school, because my last name started with an A, I was the first in roll call, and nobody ever knew how to pronounce it. So I went home and asked my mother if I could be called Zoe. I remember she was cooking, and in her Nigerian accent she said, “Why?” I said, “Nobody can pronounce it.” Without missing a beat, she said, “If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.”
She is the best.
When you have to drop a friend off and your mamas calling you yelling that you’re past your curfew
*rides off into the sunset on your dad*
finally found a great birthday gift for my sugar daddy
Science side of tumblr how do I become a jellyfish
Jellyfish have no brains. You’re already pretty close.
tavr0ss said: what does puta mean?
It means companion or best friend :)